Tuesday, November 22, 2016

What Coparenting Should Look Like


So this weekend was the great child exchange. The boys are going to a their daddy's for Thanksgiving. While I hate that I am not with them, they need the time with their daddy. We get along great. The boys call everyday and tell me about their day. I miss them so much though. The eight hour trip was actually very easy with the boys. DS3 has the croup which prompted a trip to the emergency room just the night before. But a dose of steroids later, he was feeling much better. The Ex was meeting Brad for the first time face-to-face. I was worried to be honest. I don't do well with uncertainties. I like to have every little thing planned out to have less confusion. My mom let us borrow her car since my car is broken down and Brad drives a "Dave car" (Dave Ramsey financial mastermind recommends driving a car as long as you can while completing the baby steps and since we are still in the process of baby step 1 there will not be a new car for a while and no fixing my car for a while). She packed the boys some snacks and we used the headrest DVD players for entertainment.

We agreed to meet at Cracker Barrell at the halfway point. We arrived 20 minutes before Ex got there. We played with the boys while we waited. EX arrived and we got out of the car and the boys gave him some love. I greeted him with a hug and Brad shook his hand. Ex treated us to lunch as a thank you for meeting halfway gesture. That was really nice, I thought. We sat there and talked and laughed and Ex gave Brad some tips on how to deal with me. HAHA silly guys. We enjoyed our lunch and loaded the boys up in their dad's car to finished their trip. We reminded the boys to treat their dad and his girlfriend with the same respect as they do us and to be kind to their "stepbrothers" or they would deal with me... and they don't like to deal with me.

That is how I think co parenting should go. We treated each other with decency and respect. We get along well not only for the kids' sake but because we genuinely care about each other. And even though our marriage was a disaster. He was a terrible husband and I a terrible wife. We are still best friends and have a great friendship. The divorce was in the boys' best interest. I like his new girlfriends. She is kind and accepting of my kids and that is something that will not be taken for granted by me or my kids. Ex called me on Monday to tell me how much he appreciates Brad and that he is working on the boys to let them know that he is to be treated just like they would treat their dad. That is the only thing the kids will see. They will not see us putting each other down. They will only see us building each other up and working together for their best interest.

Saturday night Brad and I stayed in Indianapolis. Neither one of us had been there so we decided to take in the city life. We went to a little hole in the wall beer bar and watched an improve comedy show. Then we ate at Rally's which was a first for Brad. On a side note to all you big city commuters... God bless you. I hate big city traffic. It was horrible.

Sunday on the drive home, Brad was expecting that I would fall asleep as I normally do on road trips, but I didn't. I stayed awake the whole time. We had such a good time just driving and chatting. It is not often that we have alone time, so it was nice to just talk and connect as a couple. On the way home, we passed a Big Boy billboard. Neither one of us had ever seen a Big Boy outside of Austin Powers. So without a word Brad pulled off the interstate and we went to Big Boy's for an impromptu date. We did a 1950s date night. We split a ruben and a milkshake and a slice of pie. Then we sat in the parking lot and watched the birds migrate. It made me smile. He is such a wonderful partner and I am so thankful to do this thing called life with him. He spoils me, which is something I am not used to but greatly appreciate.

What are your coparenting tips? Favorite impromptu dates with your significant other?

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